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Mean Machine

Mean Machine

Comedy · Drama · 2001

Disgraced ex-England football captain, Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan, is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. When these prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards during a prison football match, Danny takes the lead.

Movie details

Mean Machine

“It's Not Just About Football, It's About Pride Inside!”

2001 Comedy · Drama 1h 39m

Critical arithmetic

One number, for now.

TMDB

6.3 / 10

Community rating

Disgraced ex-England football captain, Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan, is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. When these prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards during a prison football match, Danny takes the lead.

CriticWise case file

What this film says about your taste.

Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.

The archetype split

Who fights over Mean Machine?

The split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.

Taste neighbourhood

Nearby on the taste map.

TMDB supplies the candidates. CriticWise reorders them by craft, strangeness, prestige, emotion, and pace.

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I.D.

I.D.

Crime · 1995

Four policemen go undercover and infiltrate a gang of football hooligans hoping to route out their leaders. For one of the four, the line between 'job' and 'yob' becomes more unclear as time passes . . .

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Cool Hand Luke

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When petty criminal Luke Jackson is sentenced to two years in a Florida prison farm, he doesn't play by the rules of either the sadistic warden or the yard's resident heavy, Dragline, who ends up admiring the new guy's unbreakable will. Luke's bravado, even in the face of repeated stints in the prison's dreaded solitary confinement cell, "the box," make him a rebel hero to his fellow convicts and a thorn in the side of the prison officers.

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Names above the title

The people responsible.

Directed by

Barry Skolnick

Written by

Charlie Fletcher · Chris Baker · Tracy Keenan Wynn · Andrew Day

Vinnie Jones

Vinnie Jones

Danny Meehan

David Kelly

David Kelly

Doc

David Hemmings

David Hemmings

Governor

Ralph Brown

Ralph Brown

Burton

Vas Blackwood

Vas Blackwood

Massive

Robbie Gee

Robbie Gee

Trojan

Geoff Bell

Geoff Bell

Ratchett

Court is in session

Put Mean Machine on trial.

Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.

The defence The Sentimental Softie

“Sincerity is not manipulation.”

The film risks embarrassment to make emotion communal, and that openness is harder than fashionable detachment.

The prosecution The Cool Ironist

“The strings are showing.”

Every cue tells you exactly what to feel and when, leaving sentiment to do the work character should have done.