The defence The Sentimental Softie
“Its refusal to behave is the point.”
The strange choices create the kind of friction that follows you out of the theatre and into the argument.
Back to trending 
Suck
Comedy · Horror · Music · 2009
The film follows a petty rock band called the Winners, consisting of vocalist Joey Winner, bassist Jennifer, guitarist Tyler, drummer Sam, and French-Canadian roadie Hugo, along with their sleazy manager Jeff, as they tour across Canada and the USA after Jennifer is turned into a vampire by Queeny. Meanwhile, a vampire hunter who is afraid of the dark named Eddie Van Helsing quickly chases them down.
Movie details
Suck
2009 Comedy · Horror · Music 1h 31m
Critical arithmetic
One number, for now.
Scores change. Arguments endure.
TMDB
6.2 / 10
Community rating
The film follows a petty rock band called the Winners, consisting of vocalist Joey Winner, bassist Jennifer, guitarist Tyler, drummer Sam, and French-Canadian roadie Hugo, along with their sleazy manager Jeff, as they tour across Canada and the USA after Jennifer is turned into a vampire by Queeny. Meanwhile, a vampire hunter who is afraid of the dark named Eddie Van Helsing quickly chases them down.
CriticWise case file
What this film says about your taste.
Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.
The archetype split
Who fights over Suck?
For the defence
The Sentimental Softie
“You came to feel something, and you will.”
Read their case For the prosecution
The Big-Idea Head
“You watch with your brain, not your gut.”
Read their objectionThe split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.
Taste neighbourhood
Nearby on the taste map.
TMDB supplies the candidates. CriticWise reorders them by craft, strangeness, prestige, emotion, and pace.
Trick or Treat
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Uncle Peckerhead
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When a punk band scores their first tour, life on the road proves tough when they are joined by a man-eating demon as a roadie.
Studio 666
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Legendary rock band Foo Fighters move into an Encino mansion steeped in grisly rock and roll history to record their much anticipated 10th album. Once in the house, Dave Grohl finds himself grappling with supernatural forces that threaten both the completion of the album and the lives of the band.
Vampire's Kiss
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A publishing executive is visited and bitten by a vampire and starts exhibiting erratic behavior. He pushes his secretary to extremes as he tries to come to terms with his affliction.
Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat
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Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.
Deathgasm
Horror · 2015
Two teenage boys unwittingly summon an ancient evil entity known as The Blind One by delving into black magic while trying to escape their mundane lives.
PG: Psycho Goreman
Sci-fi · 2020
Siblings Mimi and Luke unwittingly resurrect an ancient alien overlord. Using a magical amulet, they force the monster to obey their childish whims, and accidentally attract a rogues’ gallery of intergalactic assassins to small-town suburbia.
A Return to Salem's Lot
Horror · 1987
Anthropologist Joe Weber takes his son on a trip to the New England town of Salem's Lot, unaware of its vampire population. When the inhabitants reveal their secret, they seek Weber to write a bible for them.
Vamp
Comedy · 1986
Two fraternity pledges go to a sleazy bar in search of a stripper for their college friends, unaware it is occupied by vampires.
Fright Night
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A teenager suspects his new neighbour is a vampire. Unable to convince anyone, he tries to enlist the help of a self-proclaimed vampire hunter and magician.
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Names above the title
The people responsible.
Cast & crew
Directed by
Rob Stefaniuk
Written by
Rob Stefaniuk
Malcolm McDowell
Eddie Van Helsing
Iggy Pop
Victor
Henry Rollins
Rockin' Roger
Alice Cooper
Bartender
Jessica Paré
Jennifer
Dave Foley
Jeff
Moby
Beef
Court is in session
Put Suck on trial.
Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.
The prosecution The Big-Idea Head
“Oddness is not depth.”
A film can break every rule and still leave nothing behind but the memory of how hard it tried to be singular.