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The Baltimorons

The Baltimorons

Comedy · Drama · Romance · 2025

A newly sober man's Christmas Eve dental emergency leads to an unexpected romance with his older dentist as they explore Baltimore together.

Movie details

The Baltimorons

“They found themselves. Together. In Baltimore.”

2025 Comedy · Drama · Romance 1h 41m

Critical arithmetic

One number, for now.

TMDB

6.2 / 10

Community rating

A newly sober man's Christmas Eve dental emergency leads to an unexpected romance with his older dentist as they explore Baltimore together.

CriticWise case file

What this film says about your taste.

Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.

The archetype split

Who fights over The Baltimorons?

The split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.

Taste neighbourhood

Nearby on the taste map.

TMDB supplies the candidates. CriticWise reorders them by craft, strangeness, prestige, emotion, and pace.

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Cosi

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Father of the Bride

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Other People's Money

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Comedy · 1991

When a corporate raider threatens a hostile takeover of a 'mom and pop' company, the patriarch of the company enlists the help of his wife's attractive daughter—who is a lawyer—to stop the takeover. However, the raider soon becomes infatuated with her, and enjoys the legal manoeuvring as he tries to win her heart.

I Met a Girl

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She's Having a Baby

She's Having a Baby

Comedy · 1988

Jake and Kristy Briggs are newlyweds. Being young, they are perhaps a bit unprepared for the full reality of marriage and all that it (and their parents) expect from them. Do they want babies? Their parents certainly want them to. Is married life all that there is? Things certainly aren't helped by Jake's friend Davis, who always seems to turn up just in time to put a spanner in the works.

Where it lives

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Names above the title

The people responsible.

Directed by

Jay Duplass

Written by

Jay Duplass · Michael Strassner

Michael Strassner

Michael Strassner

Cliff

Liz Larsen

Liz Larsen

Didi

Olivia Luccardi

Olivia Luccardi

Brittany

C

Chris Strassner

Darlene

L

Lewis Peterson

Tow truck driver

Rob Phoenix

Rob Phoenix

Marvin

Jessie Cohen

Jessie Cohen

Shelby

Court is in session

Put The Baltimorons on trial.

Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.

The defence The Sentimental Softie

“Sincerity is not manipulation.”

The film risks embarrassment to make emotion communal, and that openness is harder than fashionable detachment.

The prosecution The Cool Ironist

“The strings are showing.”

Every cue tells you exactly what to feel and when, leaving sentiment to do the work character should have done.