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Cooties

Cooties

Comedy · Horror · Action · 2014

A mysterious virus hits an isolated elementary school, transforming the kids into a feral swarm of mass savages. An unlikely hero must lead a motley band of teachers in the fight of their lives.

Movie details

Cooties

“Please don't feed the children.”

2014 Comedy · Horror · Action 1h 28m

Critical arithmetic

One number, for now.

TMDB

5.9 / 10

Community rating

A mysterious virus hits an isolated elementary school, transforming the kids into a feral swarm of mass savages. An unlikely hero must lead a motley band of teachers in the fight of their lives.

CriticWise case file

What this film says about your taste.

Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.

The archetype split

Who fights over Cooties?

The split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.

Taste neighbourhood

Nearby on the taste map.

TMDB supplies the candidates. CriticWise reorders them by craft, strangeness, prestige, emotion, and pace.

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Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Horror · 2004

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Resident Evil

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Horror · 2002

When a virus leaks from a top-secret facility, turning all resident researchers into ravenous zombies and their lab animals into mutated hounds from hell, the government sends in an elite military task force to contain the outbreak.

Death Machine

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Action · 1995

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Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

Action · 2021

Once the booming home of pharmaceutical giant Umbrella Corporation, Raccoon City is now a dying Midwestern town. The company’s exodus left the city a wasteland…with great evil brewing below the surface. When that evil is unleashed, the townspeople are forever…changed…and a small group of survivors must work together to uncover the truth behind Umbrella and make it through the night.

Extinction

Extinction

Action · 2015

And suddenly, overnight, the world came to a halt. Two men, two survivors, one kid, and hatred that separates them. A place forgotten by everyone, including the creatures that inhabit the Earth... until now.

Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead

Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead

Horror · 2014

Barry is a talented mechanic and family man whose life is torn apart on the eve of a zombie apocalypse. His sister, Brooke, is kidnapped by a sinister team of gas-mask wearing soldiers and experimented on by a psychotic doctor. While Brooke plans her escape Barry goes out on the road to find her and teams up with Benny, a fellow survivor – together they must arm themselves and prepare to battle their way through hordes of flesh-eating monsters in a harsh Australian bushland.

The Girl with All the Gifts

The Girl with All the Gifts

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The Hunt

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Twelve strangers wake up in a clearing. They don't know where they are—or how they got there. In the shadow of a dark internet conspiracy theory, ruthless elitists gather at a remote location to hunt humans for sport. But their master plan is about to be derailed when one of the hunted turns the tables on her pursuers.

Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell

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Action · 2018

Burt Gummer and Travis Welker find themselves in a fight for survival after investigating deadly giant worm attacks in the Canadian arctic.

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Names above the title

The people responsible.

Directed by

Jonathan Milott · Cary Murnion

Written by

Josh C. Waller · Leigh Whannell · Ian Brennan

Elijah Wood

Elijah Wood

Clint

Alison Pill

Alison Pill

Lucy

Rainn Wilson

Rainn Wilson

Wade

Jack McBrayer

Jack McBrayer

Tracy

Nasim Pedrad

Nasim Pedrad

Rebekkah

Leigh Whannell

Leigh Whannell

Doug

Morgan Lily

Morgan Lily

Tamra

Court is in session

Put Cooties on trial.

Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.

The defence The Adrenaline Seeker

“Momentum is a formal choice.”

The velocity sharpens instinct and tension, making every beat land before self-importance can settle in.

The prosecution The Prestige Tourist

“Speed as an alibi.”

The film races past its weak spots and hopes acceleration will keep the audience from inspecting the evidence.