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The Seven Year Hitch

The Seven Year Hitch

Romance · Comedy · TV Movie · 2012

Jennifer and Kevin are childhood best friends who have lived together, platonically, as adults for many years. When Jennifer decides to marry her cheating, manipulative boyfriend, Bryce Kevin has to stop the wedding to protect her from making, what he believes is, a terrible mistake. With a little help from his brother and neighbor Kevin discovers that he and Jennifer are already legally married due to common law, having lived together for seven years and, as such, Jennifer can not marry Bryce.

Movie details

The Seven Year Hitch

2012 Romance · Comedy · TV Movie 1h 26m

Critical arithmetic

One number, for now.

TMDB

6.0 / 10

Community rating

Jennifer and Kevin are childhood best friends who have lived together, platonically, as adults for many years. When Jennifer decides to marry her cheating, manipulative boyfriend, Bryce Kevin has to stop the wedding to protect her from making, what he believes is, a terrible mistake. With a little help from his brother and neighbor Kevin discovers that he and Jennifer are already legally married due to common law, having lived together for seven years and, as such, Jennifer can not marry Bryce.

CriticWise case file

What this film says about your taste.

Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.

The archetype split

Who fights over The Seven Year Hitch?

The split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.

Taste neighbourhood

Nearby on the taste map.

TMDB supplies the candidates. CriticWise reorders them by craft, strangeness, prestige, emotion, and pace.

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Names above the title

The people responsible.

Directed by

Bradford May

Written by

Brian Sawyer · Gregg Rossen

Natalie Hall

Natalie Hall

Jennifer

Darin Brooks

Darin Brooks

Kevin

Ryan Doom

Ryan Doom

Bryce

John Sloan

John Sloan

Jeremy

George Wendt

George Wendt

Mr. Henderson

Frances Fisher

Frances Fisher

Mrs. Von Hoffman

Katy Stoll

Katy Stoll

Sally

Court is in session

Put The Seven Year Hitch on trial.

Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.

The defence The Popcorn Loyalist

“Sincerity is not manipulation.”

The film risks embarrassment to make emotion communal, and that openness is harder than fashionable detachment.

The prosecution The Big-Idea Head

“The strings are showing.”

Every cue tells you exactly what to feel and when, leaving sentiment to do the work character should have done.