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Please Don't Feed the Children

Please Don't Feed the Children

Horror · Thriller · 2025

After a viral outbreak ravaged the country’s adult population, a group of orphans heads south in search of a new life, only to find themselves at the mercy of a deranged woman harboring a dangerous secret.

Movie details

Please Don't Feed the Children

“Don't run. Don't scream. Don't break the rules”

2025 Horror · Thriller 1h 34m

Critical arithmetic

One number, for now.

TMDB

6.2 / 10

Community rating

After a viral outbreak ravaged the country’s adult population, a group of orphans heads south in search of a new life, only to find themselves at the mercy of a deranged woman harboring a dangerous secret.

CriticWise case file

What this film says about your taste.

Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.

The archetype split

Who fights over Please Don't Feed the Children?

The split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.

Taste neighbourhood

Nearby on the taste map.

TMDB supplies the candidates. CriticWise reorders them by craft, strangeness, prestige, emotion, and pace.

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For centuries and across cultures, parents have warned their children of the legendary Bagman, who snatches innocent children and stuffs them into his vile, rotting bag—never to be seen again. Patrick McKee narrowly escaped such an encounter as a boy, which left him with lasting scars throughout his adulthood. Now, Patrick’s childhood tormentor has returned, threatening the safety of his wife Karina and son Jake.

Raising Cain

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The Deliverance

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Ebony Jackson, a struggling single mother fighting her personal demons, moves her family into a new home for a fresh start. But when strange occurrences inside the home raise the suspicions of Child Protective Services and threaten to tear the family apart, Ebony soon finds herself locked in a battle for her life and the souls of her children.

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Orphan: First Kill

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Names above the title

The people responsible.

Directed by

Destry Allyn Spielberg

Written by

Paul Bertino

Michelle Dockery

Michelle Dockery

Clara

Zoe Colletti

Zoe Colletti

Mary

Andrew Liner

Andrew Liner

Ben

Dean Scott Vazquez

Dean Scott Vazquez

Jeffy

Regan Aliyah

Regan Aliyah

Vicky

Joshuah Melnick

Joshuah Melnick

Seth

Emma Meisel

Emma Meisel

Crystal

Court is in session

Put Please Don't Feed the Children on trial.

Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.

The defence The Cool Ironist

“Its refusal to behave is the point.”

The strange choices create the kind of friction that follows you out of the theatre and into the argument.

The prosecution The Prestige Tourist

“Oddness is not depth.”

A film can break every rule and still leave nothing behind but the memory of how hard it tried to be singular.