The defence The Popcorn Loyalist
“Momentum is a formal choice.”
The velocity sharpens instinct and tension, making every beat land before self-importance can settle in.
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The Jewel of the Nile
Adventure · Action · Comedy · 1985
Joan Wilder is thrust back into a world of murder, chases, foreign intrigue... and love. This time out she's duped by a duplicitous Arab dignitary who brings her to the Middle East, ostensibly to write a book about his life. Of course, he's up to no good, and Joan is just another pawn in his wicked game. But Jack Colton and his sidekick Ralph show up to help our intrepid heroine save the day.
Movie details
The Jewel of the Nile
“They're back again...and romancing a brand new stone.”
1985 Adventure · Action · Comedy 1h 46m
Critical arithmetic
One number, for now.
Scores change. Arguments endure.
TMDB
6.2 / 10
Community rating
Joan Wilder is thrust back into a world of murder, chases, foreign intrigue... and love. This time out she's duped by a duplicitous Arab dignitary who brings her to the Middle East, ostensibly to write a book about his life. Of course, he's up to no good, and Joan is just another pawn in his wicked game. But Jack Colton and his sidekick Ralph show up to help our intrepid heroine save the day.
CriticWise case file
What this film says about your taste.
Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.
The archetype split
Who fights over The Jewel of the Nile?
For the defence
The Popcorn Loyalist
“Big screen, big feelings, no apologies.”
Read their case For the prosecution
The Cool Ironist
“Feeling things is a little embarrassing.”
Read their objectionThe split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.
Taste neighbourhood
Nearby on the taste map.
TMDB supplies the candidates. CriticWise reorders them by craft, strangeness, prestige, emotion, and pace.
Romancing the Stone
Romance · 1984
Though she can spin wild tales of passionate romance, novelist Joan Wilder has no life of her own. Then one day adventure comes her way in the form of a mysterious package. It turns out that the parcel is the ransom she'll need to free her abducted sister, so Joan flies to South America to hand it over. But she gets on the wrong bus and winds up hopelessly stranded in the jungle.
The Lost City
Action · 2022
Reclusive author Loretta Sage writes about exotic places in her popular adventure novels that feature a handsome cover model named Alan. While on tour promoting her new book with Alan, Loretta gets kidnapped by an eccentric billionaire who hopes she can lead him to the ancient city's lost treasure that featured in her latest story. Alan, determined to prove he can be a hero in real life and not just on the pages of her books, sets off to rescue her.
Swashbuckler
Adventure · 1976
A pirate and a hot-tempered noblewoman join forces to protect Jamaica from a tyrant.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Adventure · 2017
Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Capt. Jack Sparrow feels the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost sailors led by his old nemesis, the evil Capt. Salazar, escape from the Devil's Triangle. Jack's only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, but to find it, he must forge an uneasy alliance with a brilliant and beautiful astronomer and a headstrong young man in the British navy.
The Mummy Returns
Adventure · 2001
Rick and Evelyn O’Connell, along with their 8-year-old son Alex, discover the key to the legendary Scorpion King’s might: the fabled Bracelet of Anubis. Unfortunately, a newly resurrected Imhotep has designs on the bracelet as well, and isn’t above kidnapping its new bearer, Alex, to gain control of Anubis’s otherworldly army.
Tomb Raider
Action · 2018
Lara Croft, the fiercely independent daughter of a missing adventurer, must push herself beyond her limits when she finds herself on the island where her father disappeared.
The Mummy
Adventure · 1999
Dashing legionnaire Rick O'Connell stumbles upon the hidden ruins of Hamunaptra while in the midst of a battle to claim the area in 1920s Egypt. It has been over three thousand years since former High Priest Imhotep suffered a fate worse than death as a punishment for a forbidden love—along with a curse that guarantees eternal doom upon the world if he is ever awoken.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Adventure · 2011
When Jack crosses paths with a woman from his past, he's not sure if it's love...or if she's a ruthless con artist using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Adventure · 2007
After losing Captain Jack Sparrow to the locker of Davy Jones, Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, and Captain Barbossa journey to the ends of the earth to rescue him. And as the East India Trading Company tightens its grip on the seas under Lord Cutler Beckett—now in control of Davy Jones—the fate of piracy hangs by a thread. Now, they must unite the pirate lords for one final stand. But as loyalties are tested and alliances shift, each must ultimately choose where they stand in the battle for freedom on the high seas.
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas
Action · 2003
The sailor of legend is framed by the goddess Eris for the theft of the Book of Peace, and must travel to her realm at the end of the world to retrieve it and save the life of his childhood friend Prince Proteus.
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Names above the title
The people responsible.
Cast & crew
Directed by
Lewis Teague
Written by
Mark Rosenthal · Lawrence Konner
Michael Douglas
Jack T. Colton
Kathleen Turner
Joan Wilder
Danny DeVito
Ralph
Spiros Focás
Omar
Avner Eisenberg
Jewel
Paul David Magid
Tarak
H
Howard Jay Patterson
Barak
Court is in session
Put The Jewel of the Nile on trial.
Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.
The prosecution The Cool Ironist
“Speed as an alibi.”
The film races past its weak spots and hopes acceleration will keep the audience from inspecting the evidence.